Everyone has a secret

Everyone has a secret; a guilty pleasure.

I never would have believed it if someone had told me; even if that person had said wAllahi. It was a shock that lasted for more than two days.

What I’m talking about is this girl that did porn. Yes, I know someone who did porn. I guess you can say that I’m (un)lucky, right? Wrong! But before that, let me get you started from the beginning.

So I worked in a building with this fat chick. She had a cute face and a really open, confident and somewhat charming personality. I mainly attributed that assumption to the fact it might’ve been because she’s American or Australian—that was just a guess from her thick accent.

I, nor any of my friends, paid any attention to her whatsoever. The only time we did was when we were clowning each other on which girls we’d smash for the right price, just regular, taking-the-piss out each other, guy shit.  She wasn’t attractive to say the least, well she had one of those cute faces, but the body of a tank. Her dress sense wasn’t hoeish at all either, she’d cover up and wear more than what was needed. However you could always tell that this bulldozer would run rampant if you ever tried it on with her. And that’s just going off on how she was built; I doubt this steamroller had a vicious side to her though. She seemed to be a nice girl, but in actuality is a freak.

So months pass and this girl is off the radar. Word got around that this sloth was actually a porn star and had fans on twitter and everything. So I get to searching and then I find the twitter and immediately I’m like:

What makes it worse was the fact that some people knew this all along but kept it a secret since they were friends. I’m still shocked at the fact that nobody knew till real late on when she was gone. Not saying that I would of tried it on her or anything… just saying.

One click of her twitter bio and you could see her amazon wish-list, full of the most advanced and dirtiest sex toys I ever witnessed—and I’ve seen some pretty graphic things in my time. Shit like wireless strap-ons, portable whips, transformer dildos, you name it. These were some of the most advanced futuristic sex toys I had ever seen. Sex toys with their own custom firmware updates and shit.

It don’t stop there though. With my connections, I hired some Google ninjas to do some digging deep into the cores of the engines and the results were horrifying. A Pornhub account followed by two videos on Plumperpass, a place for bruisers aka bbws. For anyone that don’t understand those terms, fat chicks. The one trailer alone was shocking for me to bare. She sucked the guys dick till it disappeared, and because she is fat, it looked like he had a vagina and she was just kissing his crotch. To put it simply, this girl is a pro, guys.

The moral of the story is, you don’t know really know a girl till you’ve seen her eat. Over and out.

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This entry was posted in Adult, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Miscellaneous, Personal. Bookmark the permalink.

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