I don’t do hook ups

I don’t do hook ups

So this is a story all about how I hooked my friend up and shit went down so I would like to take a minute and sit right there and tell you why I don’t do hook ups.

Everyone who knows me knows I am a nice guy (sort of) when it comes to certain things. When it comes to females I feel no way to hook my dons up unlike most which if they do no attain the narny for themselves they will cockblock others. If I was to move to a chick and she was on my boy instead of me I would tell him and be like “Yo you have a chance to hit that go through” when most guys will be like “She doesn’t like me therefore no one can have her” (Insert Evil Laugh Here).

As one grows older they learn of girls with loose morals and tendencies which whilst they do not want them they can always hook there boys up. Basically everyone knows a couple slags from endz. Living in Brixton I knew quite a few girls who were like this and whenever my guys used to come to me and tell me they are looking for something quick I would be like yeah I’ve got a chick you can move to Il hook you up.

The fabled tale I am about to tell you occurred at a university I once attended and all my boys can confirm this story is 100% true with no lies or bullshit added as the story is fucked up already. I won’t name anyone because there isn’t a need to be honest but let me explain to you what happened.

So I was in my Uni library one day chilling doing work as one does and one guy I met whilst studying there whom I became friends with came to me in anguish and despair. I asked him “my man why do you look so distressed” he told me he hasn’t beat (fucked a chick in a while) and the cobwebs were killing him. He was going to sleep in cold sweats and waking up in the middle of the night having dreams of giving it good to a chick and then told me that he can’t keep cracking one out over pornhub, xhamster and tnaflix every night.

Being the nice guy I am I told him that I was going to save him and hook him up with something easy he could probably beat (fuck) the same day if he had a hint of game. At this time I had a couple chicks from my area and other areas that I knew were easy and thought yeah I reckon you could add these chicks on Facebook and probably fuck them today you know. Gave him 4 girls to add on Facebook now that I knew were super fucking hella slut easy and this is where the story begins.

The first chick I gave him he was actually doing decent with, he was speaking to her and what not I thought he was actually doing decent until it came to the sexual talk. This guy said to her so when can I fuck you then (any person with a brain knows you can’t even speak to slags like this) to which this girl replied “who the fuck do you think you’re talking to”. He said “But Millz said I can beat” This guy dragged my name into it and said I said he could beat even though I did you not supposed to say that. She told him “no you can’t fuck me” to which he replied “But Millz said I can and he doesn’t lie” (Mindfucked). This guy is actually arguing with the chick about fucking her based upon what I said to him. The girl inboxes me on Facebook and starts chatting shit in my ears now asking if I’m going around telling people they can fuck her #Longforman.

Told him to add that charlotte chick from my previous blog post (http://wp.me/p2HZ9l-3) he somehow fucked that up, flopped with the third chick again which is beyond me and then managed to bag the final chick but this is where shit fucked up.

The last chick was a girl I knew from Hackney that a couple of my guys ran a train on (Took turns one after another fucking her) and I made him know this before I even bothered to hook him up. So he adds her on Facebook now and they get talking trying to find out about one another. It didn’t take him long to get her on the sexual talk and she starts sending him pictures and videos of her which were slightly meh to be perfectly honest but they started talking about what they would do one another you know how it goes.

They decide on a day to meet up and he travels all the way to Hackney for a bit of narn bread because the roast was getting real. He fucks her and comes back to Uni the next day and boasts to the mandem yeah I beat she was easy as fuck he even hugged me for hooking him up.

Later on in the day I receive a facebook message from the chick “I didn’t know you and your boys rolled like that” I’m thinking what she means by ‘roll like that’ what the fuck is this chick on about. New untold chapters of the story were unveiled.

Sometime during their night time talk they began talking of freaky things they want to do to each other when they meet up and he told her that she was in for a surprise. On his way to her house during the first time they were supposed to link (meet up) he went into Sainsbury’s and picked up some basics honey (You see where this is going) and then proceeded to her house. When he got there she done as she promised and gave him head which is what he was expecting. What she wasn’t expecting was for him to tell her to spread her legs wide open and for honey to be smeared all over her pussy which he then proceeded to eat her out with during the first time he met her. He even covered his dick in honey and yeah the whole process became sticky.

When she told me the story I was like O_O this guy never told me he was the honey monster. Word spread as this girl knew a few people and it just looked bad for me and my dons even though we did fuck all.

So from now on I don’t do hook ups, if you’re roasting deal with it yourself I no longer provide pimp services with no pay.

Anyways hope you enjoyed this read follow me @smexymillz

This entry was posted in Adult, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Miscellaneous, Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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